How to Move Beyond Pain, Failure, and Brokenness
IF YOU WALK WITH JESUS LONG ENOUGH YOU'LL NEED GRACE TO OVERCOME TRAUMATIC EVENTS
One of the most beautiful chapters in the entire Bible is found in John 21. As the chapter opens you see several of the disciples hanging out together once again at the Sea of Galilee, but something is different in their tone and posture. After three years of following Jesus they seem distant and numb and maybe even a little jaded. What had brought them to this point? Commentators believe it was the trauma of loss and witnessing their leader and friend and savior being violently beaten and crucified that had affected them this way. They were disappointed, disoriented, and hurting. This was definitely not what they expected when they signed up to follow Jesus a few years earlier yet this is exactly where they found themselves. One person in particular, Peter, is hurting more than the rest because he is also dealing with a deep sense of failing the Lord after denying him three times. Trauma, conflict, loss, betrayal, abandonment, failure, and pain are not a great mix for our spiritual lives.
THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT ALL OF US WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH TRAUMATIC EVENTS IN OUR LIVES AS WE FOLLOW JESUS.
THE BEAUTY IS WE HAVE A SAVIOR WHO UNDERSTANDS US, PURSUES US, COMFORTS US, HEALS US, AND RESTORES US.
The disciples were experiencing many of the things we experience in our own lives as we pursue and walk with Jesus. Each of us can experience the physical toll of going through conflict and crisis with those around us and in the hostile world in which we live. We experience disruptions in our lives when we go from church to church and broken relationship to broken relationship and job to job. We experience the pain of being despised and misunderstood and undeservedly criticized as we try to simply love and serve people, many times from those closest to us. We receive anger and insults as we try to lead our families, churches, and businesses. We experience a sense of betrayal from those around us who leave us in our times of greatest need. We experience a sense of abandonment from friends and family and even from Jesus as we feel left alone and isolated. We experience a sense of hopelessness and finality at times when we ask, "what good can come out of this mess? I guess this is just how things are going to be and our lot in life. The best days are behind us."
If this is you and your current state I have great news for you! Into the midst of this kind of pain and brokenness and disappointment Jesus shows back up in the disciples lives and He shows back up in our lives as well. Here are five beautiful and profound things we can learn from John 21 when dealing with trauma:
1. JESUS PURSUES US AND IS WILLING TO COME RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF OUR MESS. Jesus isn't afraid of our messy lives and pain and He isn't hesitant to come right into the middle of our brokenness. In John 21:4-6 Jesus goes to where they are and calls out to them. We can be thankful for a savior who doesn't leave us in our failure or time of greatest need but keeps faithfully pursuing us.
2. JESUS APPROACHES US WITH INCREDIBLE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP. Look at how Jesus calls out to them in verse 5: "He called out to them, 'Friends, haven’t you any fish?'" Wow! He calls them friends! After all that Jesus had been through he still calls them friends. After His own abandonment and pain. After His own rejection. After His own seeming disappointment with the disciples who failed him. Yet he shows up and addresses them as friends. This is profound because we don't deserve it. Yet, when Jesus shows up in our lives he calls to us as friends. It's a gesture of love and grace and forgiveness despite our failures and it opens the door for a restored relationship.
3. JESUS DELICATELY CALLS US BACK INTO INTIMACY AND WHOLENESS. In verses 9-14 we see something peculiar happen when the disciples get to the shore. We see Jesus preparing breakfast for them. So what is He communicating to them and to us by this gesture? He's communicating intimacy. Come and eat with me and sit with me and talk with me and out of this relational time He will heal us and restore us.
4. JESUS OFFERS US INCREDIBLE GRACE. After they eat breakfast Jesus begins to talk with Peter. The purpose of this conversation is to offer Peter grace and forgiveness and restoration. Peter had denied Jesus three times so Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. Peter responds each time with, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus would then respond with, "Feed my lambs. Take care of my sheep." He was offering Peter grace and saying "I forgive you, I trust you, do what I've called you to do. You still have a valuable part in my work and kingdom." Peter, you have to forgive yourself and move beyond this moment to see the bigger things I'm doing. Your failure and brokenness is not final, it's a door.
5. JESUS SHOWS US THERE IS MORE BEYOND OUR PAIN, DISAPPOINTMENT, AND TRAUMA. In the last section of chapter 21 we see Peter begin to fall into a trap that many of us can fall into, he looks at the people around him and says, "what about them Lord? How will their situations affect me?" Jesus tells him, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” In essence, He tells Peter to focus on the right things. Focus on him. Focus on what He was calling him to do and not on other people. Peter, don't get caught up in other people's lives and drama and journeys; it will only derail you. Focus on me. In the end, Peter gets powerfully healed and restored and goes on to become one of the most significant leaders in the early church who would himself comfort and restore and forgive many other followers of Jesus.
Do you need healing and forgiveness in your life from the painful things you've experienced?
Do you need fresh intimacy and relationship with Jesus?
Do you need a fresh sense of calling and divine purpose for your life?
Do you need to stop allowing the past and what the people around are doing or not doing to paralyze you?
If so, I have good news for you. Just as the disciples did not immediately recognize Jesus on that morning, nevertheless, He was there and He is there for you as well. Calling from the shore. Calling you back to Himself, back to grace, back to wholeness, and back to purpose. This is the God we serve and there are people all around you waiting to experience the same good news from their trauma and brokenness. Will you come have breakfast with Jesus?